This is me sleeping with my epidural
Still waiting to be fully dilated...
Finally time to start pushing..
First time I actually remember holding my baby
I was too out of it to know what was going on
Our awesome nurse giving Marlee her first bath.
She really doesnt like it
All clean and happy, this is a small smile
Daddy loving on his baby girl
She got all prettied up the next day
This is her on the first day after her bath
Me and my baby
Okay so story time....as hard as I tried to get her to come out with tips from everyone on how to get her out. She just didnt want to come till she was good and ready. We were walking every where and going out visiting family all week. I was cleaning and even moving some furniture around until I decided it was pointless to put myself thru the pain of contractions when she wasnt budging!
So we took the last few days easy, went out on our last date alone for a long time, spent time together at home trying to calm our nerves. All day Sunday we didnt know what to do to waste the time! We still hadnt packed a hospital bag so that was on the to do list. The base for the car seat still needed to be put in the car and we wanted to go see baby Neolani in the hospital before we went in. Well being the procrastinators that we are, we ended up doing all this last minute. My mom was on her way to meet us to go see the baby while I was packing the bag and David was trying to figure out how to install the base. The instructions were only in spanish so he couldnt figure it out and was getting frusterated. We ended up leaving the base at home thinking we wouldnt need it, we were wrong. We got down and saw the baby for a little bit and headed up to my dads house in Bountiful so I could get a blessing before we went to the hospital.
We got to the hospital at 8:45 just as it started snowing! Snow just seems to come on all our important days (our wedding day it snowed) We got to our room, I got in my lovely buttless gown and the nurse came in to start the night. She was the only nurse we didnt like thru our entire stay at the hospital. She didnt like to talk very much and she was really grouchy. She gave me the medicine that goes next to your cervix (not sure what its called) and started my iv around 10. My mom came to drop off my little brothers cell phone charger so we could call or text every one when things started happening, she was there for maybe 5 min and the nurse came in and kicked her out.
Around 3am my water broke on its own. I was about to get up to go to the bathroom so I thought I had just peed myself but when it didnt stop coming out I woke up David because I couldnt reach the button to call the nurse. He thought I was making it up because the Dr was supposed to pop my water in the morning. When it started dripping on the floor he realized I wasnt lying.
The contractions started getting bigger and worse so around 445 I got my epidural.
The anesthesiologist was really nice, and another nurse came in to help with it. She was awesome too. It hurt, but not as bad as getting the iv did. I got the shakes really bad but was burning up the whole time. I HATE the feeling of being numb. I didnt know what to expect after getting an epidural but not being able to move wasnt even in my mind!! I kind of freaked out when I woke up and couldnt push myself up. I did sleep a lot better tho.
I dont really remember too much during the day, just being really hungry and nauseous and sleeping. I did get to drink water and sprite and I could eat popcycles. David didnt sleep much after my water broke, but tried to get little naps in here and there. We played family fued on the internet to keep us busy but I fell asleep a lot.
Our nurses that came in at 8 were awesome! We had the one nurse, but she had a student following her all day. We originally said we didnt want any trainees or students, but she was so awesome and the other nurse only let her do certain things and watched closely while she did.
We started calling people to come to the hospital around 1ish because every one showed up right as the Dr announced I was fully dilated and needed to start pushing. I was in shock! The last time they checked me about an hour before I was only at a 7. I was really scared and didnt know what was about to happen, but pushing wasnt bad for the first hour and a half. I think it was about the last half hour of real pushing that it started to hurt.
My epidural was wearing off a bit and by the time I hit the button again it was too late. Her head coming out wasnt so bad but her shoulder and everything else about killed me. I didnt even know it but I let out screams of pain when that happend. I was really seeing every thing in a blur I hurt so much. The Dr ended up needing to make a small cut, and I tore a little more.
As soon as she was out they put her on my chest right next to my face. I remember grabbing whatever I could in front of me and I could feel her little hand grabbing my face, but my eyes were either closed or I was hurting too much to see anything. The Dr was getting my placenta during that and then went straight for the stitches...no breaks in between. I dont even know when or who took the baby off my chest. I could feel the needle from the stitches so they had to give me shots to numb me more, those hurt real good too.
After that I dont really know what went on. My mom was holding my hand, David was running back and forth from me and the baby getting checked out. I saw blood and just decided it was time for me to close my eyes. I could have fallen asleep right then and slept all night if I didnt have such a beautiful baby to look at.
Some time after she was all done getting checked and weighed and what ever was going on over in the corner David brought her over to me and I really got to see her for the first time with goo in her eyes.
Maren and Linda came in to see the baby but I was too tired for anyone. Every one got kicked out of the room while we got cleaned up, I got some food, Marlee got her first bath and we gathered our things to move to the next room.
By the time we were in the next room my dad had come, my litte brother and my uncle and I some how got a small spurt of energy back. The rest of the time in the hospital was really nice. I was pampered, Marlee was loved in the nursery by any one who got to see her. They kept me on pain pills so I never even felt any pain in the stitches till I got home.
I did get a UTI but I am not surprised, I get them very often and very easily. We came home Wed afternoon and for some reason I wasnt too tired. I think I slept off and on every now and then but really I was too awake waiting for the baby to wake up ready to eat again.
I only got 2 lessons of breast feeding in the hospital before I left and was feeling really unsure about it when I got home so that started a big cry session. I really underestimated the power of postpardom blues. They are hitting hard and at very random times over really dumb things. My mom has a friend who is a lactation person so she came over to save me. I may need her to come again because I still dont feel confident in what I am doing. I keep worrying that everything I am doing is wrong, that some thing is wrong with the baby, or me. I just dont know as much as I thought I did about caring for a newborn and its scary. I guess it is just some thing that will come with time.
4 comments:
I still get scared when it comes to nursing any of my babies. I still think that I am doing it wrong or they aren't getting fed enough and they will get dehyrated. I know that its just my mind but still! I understand the whole postpardom crying. It's tough but you have a great support team and Dave is there for you. I am pretty sure Marlee has him wrapped around his little finger already!
Thank you for allowing me in the room, It Was a great experience. She is so adorable and I am so proud of you for how well you did. you are a great mom.
Neat story! I've had postpartum stuff too...mostly after Talea when I had so many problems with feeding her, so I know exactly how you're feeling right now and my heart goes out to you. It's so frustrating, especially on your first baby, when you think you're all set with all the experience you have and all the advice you've been given, and then nothing works out like you though it would. I did a lot of crying in my first 2 months after Talea's birth, but it DOES get easier and the tears are replaced by all the happy memories after a while. Make sure you ask for a lot of help, because that takes a lot of pressure off when you're feeling the blues. I got lots of help from lactation consultants with Tilly, and even though I still have problems with nursing, the help was actually helpful. Since I have such problems with breast infections and such, I looked on youtube for breastfeeding videos, and believe it or not, those were more helpful than the laction ladies, so I recommend looking those up. Congrats on your new one, and good luck! Life is forever changed...for the better.
So, is David as into the birthing process as Hyrum is? Is he ready to deliver your next baby himself like Hyrum does? Just wondering if they're similar since they're brothers. Hyrum was a bit too clueless on the first baby to want to deliver Tilly (we didn't know it was allowed either), but he was all over it with all the other babies. By the way, I tore with Talea too, but not with any of the other babies. Those stitches burned like fire when I peed. I don't know if it's the same with you, but if it is, I feel so bad for you! I know the pain, and my biggest thing each baby is to plead with the doctor to do everything in his power to help me avoid stitches. So far, Dr Groth has helped me avoid them each time, even though my babies keep getting bigger by a pound each time. A good OB makes all the difference.
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